Aug 2010 12

By Jehnifer Henderson

First of all, Bun B is not my uncle.  He don’t even know my mama like that.

Really?  It seems like these days everyone has a blog or column about relationships.  Even Houston’s own, Bun B.  That’s right.  People write in with questions and B. gives responses/advice.  It’s not bullshit or jokes either.  This dude is giving real advice.  When I clicked the link and checked out his column on ParlourMagazine.com, titled Ask Uncle Bun B on Choosing a Mate and Claiming Your Power, I expected to find advice like: “That hoe can go ‘head, if she ain’t feelin it. She ain’t goin’ nowhere, she love how I’m drillin it.” or perhaps lessons on what “ridin’ sidesaddle” actually means.  But he’s really talking about relationships and he stands a chance at putting a lot of the current relationship columnists to shame.  I never doubted him, though.  With lyrics like “Cause whats a hoe with no pimp, and whats a pimp with no hoe?” you know he’s a family man.  So if you don’t quite understand or know the game just yet, check out Bun B’s new column. As absurd as the name is (for real, Uncle Bun B?), it’s worth a quick read.

Aug 2010 12

By D.L. Gonzalez

Monday night at Minute Maid Park a local Douchebag bailed on a foul ball, letting his cute girl take a baseball off her elbow.

Since the incident happened at an Astros game, no one in Houston cared until the story of “Bo the Bailer” went national.

Astros third baseman Chris Johnson fouled off a 2-2 pitch down the third base line during the bottom of the fourth inning against the Atlanta Braves.

Rather than catch the screaming liner, or protect his girlfriend Sarah, some bitch-made Tool named Bo jumped out of the way, scared of the ball.

Astros field reporter Patti Smith interviewed the couple and basically called Bo out for being a little bitch. Watch Patti’s interview here.

“I was like ‘baby, I’m gonna get hit’ and he was like ‘no you’re not. I’ll catch it’… he just bailed,” Sarah told Patti.

Instead of saying sorry during the interview, Bo thought it was great his lady got hit and came up with the lame excuse, “I was gonna catch it, but then it was in the lights, and I lost track of it,” Bo explained.

But Patti wasn’t buying his bullshit.

“Next time go towards your girlfriend, protect her. Don’t go the other way like a chicken.”

After being put on blast on national television, Bo answered the way a true Douchebag would, “Huh? Alright.”

Bo kept the ball too.

Aug 2010 09

Established in 2004, the H-Town Sneaker Summit is the largest and longest running event of its kind in the entire Southwest. It is a bi-annual event held in Houston, TX each summer and winter, where sneaker enthusiasts from all walks of life gather to buy, sell, trade, display, and discuss rare, exclusive, and fashionable sneakers and clothing in a huge party atmosphere.

Despite being Hot as Hell in the venue, the Sneaker Summit turned out to be a smashing success.  Don’t sleep on the Winter Sneaker Summit.

Photo provided by: Jae Tovar

Photo provided by: Jae Tovar

Photo provided by: Jae Tovar

Photo provided by: Jae Tovar

Photo provided by: Jae Tovar

Photo provided by: Clyde Grant

Photo provided by: Clyde Grant

Jul 2010 31

Hater’s First Poster, “Oil Monster”, was inspired by our hate for BP and the catastrophic spill in our Gulf.  Subscribe to Hater Magazine and receive the limited edition poster.

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Jul 2010 28

“Hooked a left into Popeye’s and bailed out quick, if it’s going down, let’s get it over with.” A favorite line of mine from legendary “Geto Boy” rapper Willie D, not only because in this verse he is facing his imagined killers, but because of its reference to my favorite fast food restaurant, Popeye’s.
Oh, Popeye’s. How I loved thee.
And how I would have continued to love thee, until the day I asked myself, “Where did this chicken come from?”

Essentially,whether in a drive-thru or a grocery check-out line, we should all be asking “Where did this food come from?”
There has been a swell of information and discussion on the manufacturing and corporatization of our food. Only a select few Americans can trace their meal back to their local farm. The rest of us are busy hustling through the city and can only trace our meals back to marketed name brands.

The search of how my packaged meal came to be, led me to investigate the culture of industrial farming and the unknown impact of what a simple 2-piece meal has on my health, society and the environment.

According to definition, commercial farming is an agri-business with a high density of stock, utilizing antibiotics, growth hormones and pesticides. So, basically my deep-fried wing and thigh came from a commercial farm where chickens were kept in a production house devoid of light, injected with growth hormones (advancing from baby chick to adult within 3 weeks) and had their organs mature beyond the capacity of their skeletal frame, making them too heavy to walk and flutter. Then the “juiced-up” chicken is left standing in its own feces until gathered onto a truck by undocumented workers and transported to a processing plant.

The altering of nature does not stop with chickens. Cows, pigs, vegetables, and fruit are also getting in on the action.

I sat down with Local Chef Monica Pope who owns the celebrated restaurant, T’afia. Pope is passionately committed to local organic ingredients and she expressed concerns over our detachment from our food. “We all have to eat, and we don’t realize what we support. We don’t think about how it was packaged, where it came from, how it got here…”

A month before meeting with Monica, I was ablaze in my quest to track the clandestine pilgrimage of my 2-piece and its origin. To familiarize myself with the practice of industrial farming I home paged F.D.A. watch dog sites, read books critical of America’s agri-business and watched numerous films including the harrowing documentary, “Food Inc.” The documentary immediately curbed my addiction to fast food and my waistline dwindled two sizes. I expressed my surprise over my weight loss to Monica, because even though I had stopped eating fast food. I was still eating staples like hamburgers 3 times a week.The only difference was, instead of running to Jack in the Box for my hamburger fix, I was cooking the meat myself.

Monica explained the conundrum: “I eat whatever I want here (T’afia). Some people ask how Mac and Cheese can be healthy. Well, the way I make it, it is. Now Michael Pollen (author of Omnivore’s Dilemma) has written that you can eat whatever you want as long as you make it. I don’t go to McDonald’s or Taco Bell. I go to other chefs and eat good food and good ingredients.”
Still confused how two burgers are not alike?

Well, the difference between the patty from McDonald’s and the organic beef patty I purchased from the butcher is that, in general, processed meats are higher in saturated fat and lower in protein than pure red meats. My three hamburgers a week were also covered with fresher ingredients like romaine lettuce and tomatoes, and when I prepared the meat I did not include excess fat to boost flavor.
That excess fat would steer me to obesity.

Numerous studies show obesity has increased among American adults and children, and those percentages are even higher within the great state of Texas. A 2008 study shown 28.3 percent of adult Texans were obese. That’s a lot of fat people.

Aside from the unsightliness of swollen guts and muffin tops, obesity leads to life-threatening health problems. I expressed my shock to Monica that it isn’t illegal to sell people a product that has been genetically altered to “appear” as food, and is chock-full of hormones, coloring and corn-syrup leading to detrimental health.

I mean, on the street, if you purchased an eight-ball only to discover it was Gold Medal flour, I’m positive there would be repercussions.

Monica agrees with the banning of this sub-par food: “In the last 120 years the system has fallen apart and we just let it. We have to take more responsibility. Where’s every layer of society involved in where the food comes from and how good it is. We are in a crisis. I’m 47 and I’ve been cooking for about 30 years, I started cooking when I was 17 with my grandmother and I got involved because of family traditions, and at some point about 20 years ago, I felt it. My restaurant is not just a farm to table concept and here’s my menu. I live and breathe and feel it. I feel a lot of responsibility and the weight of it.”

Monica’s restaurant is also the home of the Midtown Farmer’s Market which is in its seventh year running. I spend a Saturday in its throes, ogling produce, eggs and artisan breads before stopping by Monica’s cooking class. It’s a mish mosh of people all looking for pure ingredients to craft their daily meals. Monica speaks highly of the farmer’s market but expresses distress over a recent comment about the popularity of her efforts. “Someone made a comment about my trendy farmers market or my trendy restaurant, and I’m like ‘What is trendy?’This is something more, and it’s the fact that you can change the world by the way you eat.”

Monica and I discussed whether this disconnect from our food can be turned around and she ends our interview with a bit of advice, “Start a relationship that is going to be satisfying to you. Eat where your food lives.”

Monica’s advice launched me to find a farm near my crib, only to discover there wasn’t one. There are community gardens and such but no one raising or willing to sell me a cow. I googled “organic farms in Texas” and discovered the nearest one is Jolie Vue Farm in Brenham. Jolie Vue has an alarming disclaimer on its modest website – “you’re always welcome to see our operations at Jolie Vue Farms. We’re proud of it, and we have nothing to hide. Just call.” Can you imagine? When I asked a former Popeye’s worker where the chicken came from, he laughed and said “a plastic bag off a unmarked truck.”

I made the trek out to the Jolie-Vue Farm to tour the grounds and meet owners, Glen and Honi Ann Boudreaux. Glen doled out delicious mouth-watering bits of barbecue made from the meat raised on his farm while Honi conducted a tour of her farm to us city slickers. During the tour I learned that Jolie Vue was acquired by the Boudreauxs with the goal of restoring the farm to its original state of native grasses, clovers, and wildflowers. In the beginning, restoration was implemented without the use of artificial chemicals. Now, the farm has been transformed from an over-grazed, chemically-sterilized environment to its native vegetation and the wildlife that subsists on it as well.
Truth be told, I was excited to visit a “real” farm and see happy, and healthy animals like the ones I imagined lived on the Old McDonald’s farm of my childhood.

Looming over the idyllic farm’s landscape was a menacing oil rig that never was. Honi Ann recounted to the tourists how the Boudreauxs stopped the company from drilling because drilling would have destroyed their farm. Seeing how the catastrophic oil spill in our Gulf will reap a lifetime of damage of unknown proportions to our environment, I commend Glen and Honi Ann for choosing to produce a healthy sustainable farm over an oil residual paycheck.

Leaving the farm to return home, I passed plenty of rest stop signs all advertising that a fast food restaurant is just a pit stop away. The glimmer of hope I had began to teeter. My stomach growled louder as I read familiar names like Taco Bell, Wendy’s and even Dairy Queen. But I kept driving, and mentally prepared the delicious meal I would prepare once I arrived home. I recognize that refraining from fast food is a minuscule contribution to curbing this expanding crisis, but this solitary act is going to have an impact on the overall consumption of fast food: demanding better quality of produce and meat and a more humane treatment of animals and workers.
I’m making a change by cooking my own 2-piece, one meal at a time.

Comments

Jul 2010 27

Zeale Rapz, an Austin rapper, will be making the trek to peform for Hater’s first show @ Walter’s. We wanted to give our readers a quick meet and greet with this cat but since he is still enjoying his vacation, we had to hit him up via Facebook.

Hater:  Every Texas rapper has a certain sound from their city, how has growing up in Austin influenced your style?

Zeale: Austin influenced my style by keeping it a lot less “traditional Texan,” like the southern rap deliveries of Paul Wall, Slim Thug, etc…

Hater: Favorite track to perform?

Zeale: Favorite track to perform right now is a song called “GO.” Its a hot beat and it always pulls the ladies in.

Hater: Do you dig mexican chicks? Because my art director thinks you can get it.

Zeale: Hahaa. I dig all kinds of chicks, but there’s only one who has my attention right now.

Hater: Where are you hoping your music takes you?

Zeale: I hope my music gets me around the world, rich, and all access to Jay-Z’s house.

Hater: Where are all the black people in Austin? 

Zeale: All the black people in Austin are in jail. I’m only half black so they let me out for shows.

Hater:  Backstory about the creation of the video Monzter Hozpital?

Zeale: This was the first song I wrote for the soon to be released “DISASTERKRFT” mixtape. I wanted to make sure my it made a statement, but was still hot. When I was done with it I was like…video. We shot it and half of the way through it started raining so we just dropped and umbrella over the camera and went for the Jodeci shot.

Friday night, “Hater Presents…” starts off the Houston Sneaker Summit weekend with a line up worthy bragging about to your future illegitmate children.  Don’t Sleep.

Jul 2010 22

Dallas, Austin Gayer than Houston, Survey Says:

- by D.L. Gonzalez

 Austin as the most gay/lesbian tolerant city in Texas shouldn’t be a surprise, but now H-town is officially less gay than our rival metro, DFW.

     UCLA scholar Gary Gates came up with a Gay/Lesbian Index to measure the level of gayness in U.S. cities. Read the full story here: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-07-20/the-20-gayest-cities-in-america/

     Austin finished strong in 7th place on the index, boasting contributions to the LGBT community like The Texas Gay Rodeo Association.

 

     Dallas broke the top 20 at number 19 – holding it down for Texas LGBTs.

     According to the story published by The Daily Beast, the creators of the Gay/Lesbian Index admit the data used in the survey was dubious at best, but nonetheless solid enough to dish out gayness ranks.

     Be real sad, Houston. The survey added that gay cities are prettier, greener, perform better economically and have more ballin’ homes per capita.

Jul 2010 22

 

SO F@#!’N FRESH…SCREWED AND CHOPPED

By: Kelly King

T-Pain’s Texas girl-group Sophia Fresh has been busy cookin’ up that hot Southern-fried goodness in the recording studio it seems.  After the release of their remix buzz joint “What It Is” featuring none other than Mr. West himself, the Atlantic-Nappy Boy recording group is back with a feature on Disney’s “Step It Up 3D” and a debut album on the way.  The girls are keepin’ it TRILL this summer though, dropping a raspy remix of the Screwed Up Click’s classic “June 27th” in honor of all things chopped an screwed.  I got a chance to chop it up with the girls recently…wrote a song bout it, like to hear it, here it go!

HATER: How’d you girls get together and form Sophia Fresh and how’d you hook up with T-Pain?
 
SKYE: Cole and I were in a group signed to Underdog Entertainment/JRecords and the situation didn’t work out so our manager at the time introduced us to Mike Caren, A&R at Atlantic Records and he loved us. He then introduced us to T-Pain and the match was perfect so we did the new deal with Nappy Boy Ent. and Atlantic Records. One of our former group members decided to further her career elsewhere and Crystal ( a childhood friend of Cole) joined. And for the past few years we’ve been at it…and magic is still in the making! :)

HATER:  So all three of you rep the Lone Star State and just dropped a new remix of the legendary Screwed Up Click’s “June 27th”—What made you choose this track? What does the original June 27th really mean to Sophia Fresh?
 
CRYSTAL: The original June 27th is a guaranteed swag setter for Sophia Fresh. No matter where we are, when we hear that song it takes us back to our roots of summer times in Texas–candy-painted cars, riding slow, and freestyling to random “screwed” mixtapes. We wanted to honor where we are from, remind folks that we’re good ole country gals, and display a little of our freestyle skills in the meantime, lol! 

HATER: The latest issue of HATER is about food and how to eat healthy on a dime—what do you girls do to eat healthy when you’re on the road and working non-stop?
 
SKYE: Well we’re southern girls so we do have our way with carbs, but good carbs. We try to carry along wheat bread, natural chips, no-salt seasonings (etc.) We also have  things like meal replacements such as protein shakes by Myoplex (choc flavored– they’re yummy!) There’s usually a fridge and freezer for us to carry along things we have made already at home. Natural is the way to go though!

HATER: Do any of you have boyfriends or “special friends”–ya know, the kind with benefits?

CRYSTAL: Nope, no boyfriends and CERTAINLY no friends with benefits. Plus we’re southern, a lady never lays her business bare.

HATER: We like the word HATER around these parts. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to NOT love EVERYTHING. What kinda stuff does Sophia Fresh HATE?
 
COLE: Sophia Fresh hates negativity. We hate folks stealing all our ideas before we can come out and be ourselves without lookin’ like the swagger jacker’s, we hate how the industry has changed to more of a self-righteous  apparatus… BUT other than that we’re Lovers not haters…LOL.
 
HATER: Why should Haters love you?

CRYSTAL: A lot like Hater magazine, Sophia Fresh quite often cuts through the phoniness and exposes what’s real. We are real chicks who sing about real things for the comforts of a real world. Sophia is that chick–that home girl that keeps it 100, that girl that never forgets where she comes from, but who can’t help but be as genuine as the foundation she was raised on.

HATER: Nuff said.

You can download Sophia Fresh’s June 27th Remix here.

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